{"id":642,"date":"2024-08-27T12:53:50","date_gmt":"2024-08-27T12:53:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danisace.com\/?p=642"},"modified":"2024-08-27T12:53:50","modified_gmt":"2024-08-27T12:53:50","slug":"that-is-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/danisace.com\/?p=642","title":{"rendered":"That is, you,"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This is, you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey, has anyone ever felt like an alien?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like you do not fit in, or you are struggling to have a sense of belonging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have had an experience that has helped me to adjust and understand and I obviously want to share this with you \ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have long term depression, adhd, mild dyslexia and now maybe slight autism, it\u2019s a concoction that has made life really challenging and difficult for me, I have never felt as though I have fit in \u2013 so let\u2019s have a discussion about this \u2013 podcast released soon on this topic too <3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, depression itself is a hefty behaviour to live with \u2013 you do not get to decide how you wake up with this illness \u2013 if it is from childhood, it will be more alienating for you as you have been within a certain brain capacity for a long while. I was a depressed child, to then living my life within depression but without even realising, I have deep rooted behaviours from depression that I have spent my whole life covering up \u2639, I covered up because along side with my depression was other neurological disorders and over the years of growing up I was often labelled as weird \u2013 so I began masking<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Masking is where an individual will become another person when out of their comfort zone \u2013 a lot of people do not even realise they are within a masking phase as they juggle personalities \u2639 – being here is really tough but understanding is healing <3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How did I personality swap \u2013 my general atmosphere is solitude and isolation as a child I spent a lot of time alone in my room so I am generally within this comfort zone for myself \u2013 here I am flat mooded and generally either with numb feelings or with sadness, I hold little to no excitement for most things in life and I am here on this earth for my son and animals. I spend much of my time supporting people as this helps me to escape what I hate so much about this world \u2013 a lack of compassion and genuine love<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My masked personality, I bounce around, smiling always and being silly, I am still very supportive \/ When I was masking I would often have to escape the positionings I was in to cry in the toilet. It became very exhausting to the point that I would become off-grid for a while, phone turned off,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have since accepted my depression and accepted that it is part of my personality \u2013 knowing and understanding the source (from childhood and adulthood) has allowed me to be within peace and tranquillity \u2013 I have no expectations of myself and if I am to be within a depressive episode I know that this too will pass as they always do<\/p>\n\n\n\n

See I find myself within a depressive episode often and it started to become difficult to even be present but then we can kind of link in Winnie the Poo and Eeyore and here in this story although Eeyore was within depression he still participated in life, here he would experience the \u2018glimmers\u2019 of life<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people with chronic depression may not get better from this \u2013 when within communications with individuals who have chronic depression, they have also found that they too have been unable to escape it \u2013 I am not saying this is the case for everyone, but I hope it lifts some pressure if you are \u2018battling\u2019 depression \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n