Hey 🙂 ,
As always, I hope everyone is okay, if you are struggling with anything please reach out.
So, little runaway, I have always pondered this area, the psychology behind running away or the urge / feeling to run away. I want to understand why people may have this urge. The reason being is because during my time with SAPUK I have met a few people who share this behaviour and also it is one that I personally hold also.
I am going to break it down to two parts as I am completely out of knowledge in this area psychologically, I have my personal perception of this behaviour then we will research why this behaviour may be, by doing this understanding we can release ourselves maybe from this feeling, I hope it helps, comments welcome, I would love to understand how this affects you and maybe help 😊
So why do we have this feeling, why do we act on this feeling and hide from whatever we feel is a threat, does it even have to be a threat?
To be honest I don’t know at this very moment, I can’t pinpoint this behaviour on any particular cause as it is so vast on its causes and how it effects each of us is so different, how it affects me will be different to how it affects you;
Running away to me, is me running or hiding from feelings or situations of distress, in the past it has been things I can’t emotionally manage now I would say it is more a fear of having to bring in those emotions or to maintain stability within some emotions, mainly being love emotions I push away, and conflict / distress I run from. I would rather be out of the picture than deal with certain emotions / conflict basically, but why can’t I be a little stay, why am I still vibing little runaway. If I get placed within a distressful situation, I am more than likely going to leave, but why as I am emotionally stable in so many areas.
There is something factoring against us that makes us leave, for us to not want to deal with the upcoming situation / event, the fight or flight mode is activated as an overwhelming situation can easily lead to further distress, fight can represent crying, anger, paralysis and sometimes even pain, or there is the other side and just removing yourself from the situation. Or, it could be lack of patience as personally I won’t wait in a que for long without becoming distressed.
Or it could be vulnerability, being exposed to certain unsettling feelings, or being scared of certain feelings but then if this is the case the quick fix would be to just face them?
It could be past trauma related, I know some of mine link to past trauma, but then you have to think about how everyone is so different and everyone’s past trauma is also so different;
Lack of connection? Do most who have this feeling lack parental support, I don’t and haven’t ever had this, so maybe this adds to the lack of grounding, no parental support or guidance could assist the feeling of not feeling home, which leads to…
The thing is with psychology it is so vast and what affects me may not affect you, there is no reason as to any behaviour, for me it could be all of the reasons, running away could just be how I heal, I moved 100 miles from home in two weeks – I left because my connections had dropped, I think maybe home is a person for me rather than an actual family home with people in it, I have my person, so home is wherever I am;
Anyway, this is where the psychology comes into it, lets understand 😊
This is the exciting part, the research, and the studies. And whilst I am briefly scouting there are so many articles on why people have that urge to run away.
Psychology says that an individual may experience this overwhelming feeling whenever they feel a direct or indirect threat, it is a means of escape from a situation or problem, it is also termed as escapism;
“Escapism can be seen in a variety of forms such as procrastination, addiction, distraction, it is a coping strategy that occupies many, we all have means of escapism, it is a way we can disconnect from reality and sit back in a neutral setting this could even be by watching TV;
But there is a radical side to escapism, and this is seen when it starts to take and effect on a person or their relationships.
At its most basic level, escapism is understood as an effort to evade awareness of oneself, one’s beliefs, or the immediate reality that is often disquieting in nature. So, to not feel what you feel at that moment, but rather remove yourself to somewhere that is understood to bring peace.
The psychology of escapism considers: the desire to escape may be a response to a stimulus, like stress, danger, or adversity, but it also could be a calculated response to emotional survival.
Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, tells WebMD. “During traumatic experiences, many individuals naturally ‘escape’ the situation mentally in order to avoid further distress and psychological harm.”
The benefit of escapism is observed in situations in which a rational person would otherwise succumb to despair, anxiety, loneliness, and even self-harm. Finding moments of levity and clocking out can then provide some reprieve. Psychologist Freud backs this as a necessary element in life
If the function of escapism is to give us a break from things — ourselves, our work, our lives, even the world — it can easily be taken to the extreme, such as disassociation. Escapism, as a cause and effect of something, then doesn’t exist in silos, but perhaps understanding the psychology behind it can help us strike a balance.”
That was taken from WebMD, it was interesting to read the full article it held some valid points to which I extracted– so it’s basically not wanting to face what is in front of us. Personally, I agree, I think when I have been in moments of being overwhelmed, I still have been leaving the situation, but I wrote this blog a few weeks ago and understanding this feeling of escapism has made me re-channel things.
So, for example at university, for the past academic year I have struggled to not feel overwhelmed for many reasons I found this difficult to maintain stability, when I became overwhelmed (everyday at first) I would leave university and go home, which led to further defeat. But progressing on I have now created safe spaces, so if I need a break I will go for a break, if I am running late that is okay too, if I need to put my headphones in, I will do this also, and by doing so I am able to stay and progress as I would.
I think it is about creating your own safety blankets, figure out how you can protect your mind frame and divert yourself from running away
If you need help with this = #reachout @ SAPUK
All my Love