This word illuminated in my mind last week and ever since then I have wanted to blog about it, so what does it mean?
Looking back on or dealing with past events or situations, we all do this naturally and sometimes doing this it can bring forward many emotions, but also with this reflection can also come much understanding as to why some things happen the way they do, please note this is not going to be for everyone but it may help …
I love the mind, I think it’s fascinating how we each have different views, values and core morals, and how we all see things is so different, the most important thing about progression within the mind is to understand that everyone thinks so differently, what one may do another will not, how one may react to a situation may be the opposite to how another may react to a situation. You can not take every person at the same value, nor can you take every move from another person personally, people do what they want to do and unfortunately it can have a negative affect on others, take it as it is and move on, it is tough but you have every ability to do this.
There are two channels in which we can use a retrospective mind frame, this is in an negative manner or a positive manner, both are beneficial for growth (as long as both are understood).
A negative retrospective can be looking back at past events with bitterness, jeolousy, anger and resent etc. Which in most cases many have every reason too feel this way and more so will feel this way at the first instance of trauma, the mind generally needs answers for recovery so it may pin answers within a negative reason. ‘He/She did that because they hate me’, kinda thing but again this can stretch, any negative comment towards a past event or experience is a negative retrospective.
A positive retrospective can be looking at past events with peace and understanding, maybe something bad happened but, that was ages ago now, kinda thing;
Mainly though, I do get it. I see why people can be negative towards their past more so if there are no active positives in their future, but with this degree of negative towards the past it can make it difficult to progress with the future. It is also understood that alot of negatives can stem from abuse and their is no valid reasoning to the abuse other than the person inflicting the abuse has a psychological deficiency and you were just within their path, if it wasn’t you it would of been someone else, (please always report abuse to 999, as abuse can progress quickly, if you believe someone is being abused, quietly ask them, abuse is not okay).
I am never ever degrading someone’s past, I am only ever trying to open new doors of understanding by opening these doors it allows your mind to see things from different perspectives and as always if you are struggling I ask you to reach out to SAPUK, this is my platform it began with my core values, it will forever stay this way, you are safe with me which means you are safe with us, reach out @suicideapuk / www.suicideapuk.co.uk.
Negative retrospectives can take control, they can pave future events, for example a negative experience within a relationship can encourage your mind to believe that this will happen again, so you may believe if you have been cheated on that when you start a new relationship that this will happen again and so their is no trust from the start of the relationship, this can be incredibly difficult, my advice would be to not start a new relationship until you have suppressed these feelings.
For me personally my retrospective was that no person is stable, every person can flip. From childhood I lost trust with care givers which has made It difficult for me to trust over the years, as it would with anyone. Early years psychology suggests that a child must have atleast one stable relationship with the mother or father to not reap an affect at some point in life, but I also have peace and understanding within my past, as I understand and I did have stability within my brothers, and people who looked after me from their own free will.
I understand why people have hurt me, intentionally and unintentionally. It was never me but more so who they were as people, what they felt was a priority to do at that moment, what choices they decided to take or not take for their future, why they moved the way they did, I also understand what it did to me, taking all of this on board I understand that it has finally made me who i am today, and in a positive retrospective if none of that happened to me, if I didn’t endure all of that trauma, I would not be who I am today and for that I am grateful.
Life can throw anyone a load of trauma, with this it can make retrospectives be so negative to the point that it is apparant in your current self, it is never too late to make a change, if you understand that your retrospective is negative try to understand why, if you can’t understand why then speak with a friend or someone you trust, understanding your negative retrospective could be beneficial for your future self.
If you can’t find that understanding or are struggling to find someone you trust send me an email @ danielle@suicideapuk.co.uk – I am always okay to help with the understanding of anything, i have been within a negative retrospective before but now I live with them, it is what it is;
All my love <3