It is okay if you are not where you want to be yet
It takes a lot of troubles, understanding and persistence to be a moderate social servant. By this I mean someone who sits in with the ‘norm’.
Comparisons are always not too far away either, as you subconsciously compare yourself under various self-taught discriminations. How your hair is different, how your face structure is not the same, how you don’t have the latest styles, how you aren’t on holiday, how your mental health is bad and theirs is good, and then there is so much more … But the reality is you are beautiful and okay as you are and there is still so much time, there is no end to how far your dreams can go, just never give up on them…
You know I swear sadness is the most beautiful emotion, how it grips us unknowingly to reduction, how it externalizes internal feelings in the most beautiful way possible, by, releasing, a water flow… Out of all the negative emotions that can arouse us, sadness is the one that in the end will ultimately heal us… It is the final stage of trauma. – please see sadness blog for more info à link here.
Anyway, back to the topic, that it is okay if you are not where you want to be yet. I add in yet because if we can’t do something, instead of saying or feeling that ‘I can’t do it’ if we add in the word yet, it consciously reminds us that we can, ‘I can’t do it, yet.’
Many individuals in the year of 2025 are finding themselves faced with heightened bills and a rise in economic costs, such as added costs on fuel and travel – due to this many of the structures we have spent years building as communities have become corporate, meaning they are taking more and giving less. Due to this many are facing financial pressures and worries, research shows that to find financial growth in the year of 2025 is extremely poor in comparison to precious years, **I do feel like this will elevate for us all though, we just need patience and understanding on who is running it behind the schenes.
To be within a good affluence working from the Maslow’s hierarchy of basic needs, an individual must from birth or near after have access to the following in a positive way from an early age.
A good physiological background including health a good well-balanced diet
By not having any long term-conditions or impairments that affect your daily life. To have a well-balanced diet and drink a lot of water. To have a good homeostasis and positive sleep routines.
Positive family support
To have a good family structure from grandparents to supportive parents.
Safety including a good home
To be protected from all external dangers, and to have security in ones homelife and personal developments.
A sense of belonging
To be accepted by all peers.
A good self-esteem
To be confident and flourish as you grow to adulthood.
Self-realisation
To understand who you are and who you want to be, knowing your career path and having clear goals in life.
By enduring in all of these positively an individual may not experience negative implications, such as feeling like they have no purpose or do not know who they are or what they are going to do. Instead they are natured and nurtured within positive grounds, giving an individual a healthy start in life
The negative implications of HMN
As we re-work some of the needs of an individual, you may experience re-visiting some of your past trauma’s, please note this is okay – if you feel you may struggle, you can read my blog about how to process negative feelings or emotions on your own ‘Sit with it’ à link here.
Sometimes it is hard to comprehend our differences, especially if we are struggling with present emotions but for the rest of the blog, I want to highlight some of the reasons that you may be feeling like you are not where you want to be yet…
It is okay if you are not where you want to be yet
So, they say to have a positive current self in all means you have to have five different areas positively impacted but what happens if these core foundations are negatively implicated, where does that leave you?
A good physiological background including health and a good diet.
To have a negative physiological background, it can expand to, long term health conditions that affect, breathing, Motability, cause debilitating pain or any condition that disallows you from being practical in day-to-day life. Mental health from adverse biological differences. Disorders such as ADHD, autism, bipolar, schizophrenia, dyslexia etc can mean individuals process information differently, this can also have a negative effect.
If within your early years you have experienced any health conditions both physical or mental, then you already differ mentally from an individual who does not have these experiences. Each can affect individuals in many different ways.
Dealing with conditions long term also has a negative effect, it can make you feel ‘slower’, ‘not good enough’ or more negatively it can lead to suicidal thoughts.
Being an adult healing / recovering / experiencing these traits still can make life more difficult, be go easy on yourself.
Family support
Some individuals do not have a family structure, they do not have parents to go to for emotional support, they do not have grandparents or aunts. Some cherish one family member, and some have no family … Growing up within this dynamic can lead to lower self-esteem. Lack of guardianship means a lower network of support and may encourage solitude or isolation.
If you are within these grounds it is recommended to gain some new support, there are many local volunteer support groups to help, these are the ones who want to be here the most, generally for very similar reasons.
Safety including a good home
To grow up in no trauma, to be adult safeguarded at all times… Some children do not live this luxury at all. Without going into too much detail many children are faced with adverse child effects that still affect them within their adult lives.
The world can be a very cruel place on a lonely child, it is hard to sometimes catch up as an adult.
A sense of belonging
Some children are not accepted as children, which can lead to an adult not feeling any purposes. They are told to go away, to be quiet. Or there is no dedicated time towards them especially within emotional crisis. Children having to navigate without a care-giver can encourage them to feel isolated or not good enough, it can still have a huge effect later in life. Bullying in school can also reduce the feeling of belonging, encouraging further the feeling of not being good enough.
A good self-esteem
Due to adverse effects from childhood many individuals enter their teen years with low self-esteem. Meaning that they don’t feel good enough and can more seriously escalate to suicidal thoughts. A low self-esteem in a young adult can create depression as an adult and further more can lead to isolation or substance mis-use to ignore the thoughts of feeling not good enough.
Self-realisation
Due to adverse effects as a child, a teen or a young adult many individuals have spent their time healing or navigating their way through differentiating traumas. And thus have not had any desire nor hope to be progressively thinking forward, with no previous sense of direction or a recent trauma, many do not feel they know who they are or many do not feel they know who they want to be.
Conclusion
What we must always consider when subconsciously comparing with a little tick box is that we all have a different hand out in life, and everyone feels things differently. Some childrens thoughts are general thoughts, some kids thoughts are about when they will eat, or if there is abuse. Some children lack security so have to process creating their own security. Although experiencing some traumas creates lessons for us and can encourage change in positive ways by extending protective factors. In love, health and wealth we can learn from in some ways, so it is encouraged to move forward in our own paths with gratitude that we still have breath and as long as we do have breath that we will speak, wardening of any evil eyes or spirits for a better future. It is okay to not be where you want to be today or the next day. In time you will figure this out, maybe speaking with a specialist for guidance on your future prospects, a coach is always a good pathway. We have our own dedicated team of life coaches à link here.
Just focus on being healthy to your best needs, reach out if you need support and understand that sometimes life is hard. If we grew up in a mansion with butlers and incredible wealth and support, we would all be the same person right?
And to also consider over the years many have not had any free time due to racing thoughts or PTSD symptoms. Many have faced recent traumas that have sent them off course so now they are also trying to re-navigate. Life is not easy for a lot of us, we just have to be grateful for the small things, like who we meet along the way.
Thank you for reading
I will elaborate on this, its quite an in-depth topic and a lot of independent review is needed, you may need a support for guidance
All my love, Danielle