**TRIGGER WARNING**
You can understand self-harm on paper, the causes and effects, the psychological damage and impairment, but it will never truly make sense unless you come to experience it. The need of it, the release of it, the distraction of it. It hurts both mentally and physically, there can be a relapse, there can also be a development for an urge for it.
Understanding what you are doing and why you are doing it is key.
You are going to be okay… If you are struggling, please reach out.
Individuals who self-harm generally know its not good for them, they often hide their marks, and they often do this act in secret – please if you are struggling with this speak to somebody close to you.
A lot of the time individuals can not help their actions due to not understanding their actions.
Self-harm also differs within individual and is also not generally seen as a sign that someone is going to end their life, but there is no definite sign that someone is going to end their life as the causes and reasoning differ immensely between individuals.
Self-harm can happen to anybody, but it is more common in individuals with mental health adversities, individuals with childhood trauma, individuals with neurological mishaps such as autism or adhd. It is also common in individuals diagnosed with PTSD / c-PTSD.
Self-harming can happen in a number of ways
It can be physical, it can be mental and it can be withdrawing care for yourself. Physical self-harm is when an individual actively hurts themselves, which may cause them to draw blood. Often when someone mentions self-harm we will instantly think of an individual who is hurting themselves.
Self-harm is the intentional act of causing harm to one’s own body, often as a way to cope with emotional distress or overwhelming feelings. Common methods include cutting, burning, or hitting oneself, and it is usually not intended as a suicide attempt.
When an individual is in too much emotional pain and is struggling to regulate it, hurting themselves can help temporarily remove this mental pain. Too much and temporarily being the highlighted words.
Self-harm and too much pain
Emotional pain can be so difficult to regulate. When trauma hits us, it is up to our minds to be able to fluctuate this positively and in good time, but sometimes we just can not do this. Our minds become overloaded; we have nowhere to place ourselves we do not know what to do with this mental pain. It hurts and it needs to be released in some way.
Coping mechanisms. We all have them, some individuals write, some paint, some go to people and some have absolutely no where to go. So, because of the overwhelming feelings, the overload of being displaced or trapped and the lack of outlet for positive distribution an individual may come to find their release with self-harming.
Often as human beings we like to be in control of ourselves and our surroundings. With ourselves we navigate this every day and our surroundings we choose. When we lose control of ourselves and our surroundings cause us trauma, our temporal functioning’s can become distressed, and this can lead to suicidal thoughts or actions. This can be if you have never experienced it before to much for someone to bare, so they may come to self-harming.
Self-harming can look like, hurting ourselves, not taking care of ourselves, not eating or drinking enough, taking to many tablets, it can also be seen in subconscious signs such as profusely picking our skin and pulling our hair out.
It’s temporary
It is all temporary, the feelings you are feeling now you will regulate at some point. You just need to understand why you are feeling this way and what the cause is.
Have you been through recent trauma?
Do you feel trapped?
These are the questions you should ask yourself, and please engage in support where needed. It is okay to be hurting but we do not want you to hurt yourself.
Understanding where your motives of self-harm are coming from can help you to regulate in a more positive way. Your mind is in turmoil, this is okay. Let’s understand it.
Self-harm is dangerous, so we do need you to find a more positive way of regulating.
Are you struggling talking?
If you are you can email me at danielle@suicideapuk.co.uk.
We can also have a relapse after self-harm too, so yes, it may temporarily remove the mental pain, but it can add another. One that might have to hide or be secretive, the added physical pain, the acceptance that out of everybody in the world we just hurt ourselves too. We have to look at the scars and the pain and be reminded that it got to much. We also place ourselves in the hands of judgement, cause not many people will understand why we just did that (if they see). Now due to all the pressure we might even do it again because we remember last night the pain went it just burned our arms instead. The cycle begins and we can form a habit…
Lived experience – vlog coming soon 😊
When undergoing trauma, it is very common for individuals to feel an overwhelming number of feelings, these can feel like a rollercoaster and that they go on forever. The nights get longer; you’re eating habits have changed and waking up becomes a chore. The days become a challenge, and you are struggling with focus, forgetting things and missing important tasks, can’t do school or work cause what the hell who even cares at this point. At first, you might find yourself confused and with no actions as you try to comprehend what your mind is telling you or making you feel like. Then after days, weeks or month of the same growing feelings, you may crack and you have nowhere to go because you didn’t prepare yourself for this, nobody did…
Sit down a second please before your mind puts you there anyway, I say this with the lightest of hearts, due to my own lack of understanding I eventually fell to the floor. The floor is okay if there is nowhere else to go… You are going to be okay I just need you to not hurt yourself. Utilise breathing techniques so that you don’t fall into a panic attack and make sure your surroundings are safe, meaning remove anything you could hurt yourself with.
Call 999 if it going to far and you can’t control it, alternatively please reach out to SAP:UK who have volunteers online everyday to help with regulation.
If your mind is in turmoil, you need to sit with it safely. You need to let yourself feel what is overloading inside. What I found helped me was lying or sitting on the floor with my eyes closed and I just went through everything in my head as it spun around repeatedly, but through the pain and the tears and the chaotic thoughts – I breathed through it.
It is going to be okay.
If you have an urge to self-harm often finding another coping mechanism that is healthy is beneficial, you can get self-harm safe kits. If you just search for S&L Safe kits, in here are tools that you can use for a healthier regulation.
A red pen to colour blood is a well-used psychological distraction, an ice cube on your skin, eating ice, a band around your wrist that you pull. Anything that will mean you are not hurting yourself is classed as a health coping mechanism.
It is about utilising your time so that you are no in a position to self-harm. If you need any help, please do not hesitate to email me or someone who is educated in this area. Also if you come to find someone who is struggling with self-harm it is primitive that you seek appropriate support for yourself as well as them, please try not be alarmed and try not to act without seeking support first.
Thankyou for reading , all my love Dan xo