Judgement and how to make a more positive conscious one
I think I have done a similar blog to this before maybe Acceptance and Positive change or maybe Perspectives links in either way I couldn’t help but consider whether this was a current weight of the world right now, so I wanted to blog about it. It is okay to feel this way socially, economically and financially, many of us are very uncertain about how our future selves may appear. Past trauma, insecurities, pressures etc can all cause a negative strain on an individual causing a negative reaction when engaging with new / current people. Also some research has shown that many have not much interest or no interest in other people anymore.
Anyway,
“Our brains are designed to evaluate a situation and judge people immediately. Listening and communicating non-judgmentally means setting judgements aside about the person and their situation” – MHFA
‘To judge a book by its cover’
Many individuals when meeting someone else have an instant judgement which is either positive or negative, many considers the difference in processing capacities as some individuals don’t think they feel instead.
So, let’s go through this judgement and how it processes within an individual’s mind. This process is also known as Snap judgments, a gut reaction or intuitive decisions, and these are an individual’s conclusions or rapid assessments that are made about another individual, conclusion or object. Although this standalone statement is correct in many ways, snap judgements are generally based on little or minimal information. These quicker evaluations amongst some of us occur almost instantaneously, often before we even have time to engage within our own consciousness logically. This is why some people feel instantly connected or why some people may feel a sense of no connection from others.
**But judgement also strengthens the ability to subconsciously navigate a busy street and not bump into anyone.
So, how do we develop a positive or negative instant judgement and how does it change?
Recognizing and understanding the cognitive process behind the snap judgements. And at the heart of this instant phenomenon lies our unconscious mind. This mysterious part of our psyche that operates below our surface of awareness is a hidden supercomputer, constantly processing information to make conscious decisions without us even really realizing.
We have many ways of processing judgement, and many ways to express these different processing, one being fast and instant, somewhat running on emotion, the next being slow and more based on logic, we also have top down processing and bottom down processing which is another blog (more psychological).
Being judgmental means looking at someone, something or given situation and deciding whether it is good or bad without giving them a fair trial of further understanding. It’s like sitting higher up and deciding a sentence via our own core beliefs and values and then deciding with limited knowledge whether that aligns with our own beliefs or not and if it doesn’t, we cast a judgement without fairness or equality. It doesn’t sound fair, right? But many of us do this without knowledge.
Being judgmental can have a negative effect on ourselves and others, it can create isolation, discrimination and even encourage hatred and violence. For example, if we dislike someone based on their race, beliefs or sexual orientation we may then develop further behaviors that could lead to treating them unfairly, which could furthermore lead on to hatred or violence.
So, before we progress, I would like you to take a minute and think about a recent experience you may have encountered**
If you have met someone new recently, think about how your judgements reacted, did you instantly judge negatively, did you instantly judge positively, did you start of negative then move to positive, did you start positive move to negative, or did you have no feelings at all?
Please have a think about this for a minute**
Processing with negative emotions
I think many have all been here at some point, judging someone else before we even get to know them properly. Maybe it is their hair, their choice of clothes or even the way someone talks. Although by being negatively judgmental it can have some personal consequences.
Before changing the way that we instantly process we must first understand whether we practice this subconsciously or not.
To be negatively judgmental can be to form opinions or make negative judgements based on incomplete or inaccurate information. However judgmental behavior is not always found to be intentional, sometimes an individual does not realize they are being judgmental in a negative way. For example, an individual may grow up within a negative affluence so this may be a normal behavior for them to regulate. They may not question this until someone else challenges their current beliefs.
Common causes
There are some common causes of negatively judgmental attitudes. There are many reasons why an individual may experience a negative judgement, it could be due to the fear of the unknown, insecurity or it could be due to jealousy. It could also be based on past experiences or even just a form of ignorance to another.
Being within this negative judgement and developing a feeling of not liking someone can lead to hurt feelings on yourself and others, damaged relationships and missed opportunities.
Another cause of a judgmental attitude is a lack of empathy. If an individual cannot place themselves in another person’s perspective and understand what they are going through this may result in a judgement based on that person’s limited experience.
Social media’s impact on Judgement
Social media, what a drag it is. It is so boring now nobody posts anything; everyone is with chains to speak due to feeling negative.
In today’s world it is hard to create meaningful connections, many individuals have developed social anxieties due to this lack of connection, but more are taking to the online world. And now how easy it is to like, share or ignore another’s posts. It is like choosing or rejecting within our own demur.
With social media there is also the opportunity to experience false news that may hold bias or misinformation that may encourage or challenge current beliefs, everyone knows everything, but we have to respect individual differences there are some people who exert their talents.
But it can be a positive ground too when utilized in a healthy manner, it can combine many individuals who once felt isolated or alone to feel less alone by connecting with like minded individuals within marginalized communities, it can also allow many individuals to form bonds to challenge dominant narratives.
More on this topic – Social media and mental health
Relationships and judgement
Judgement can also affect our relationships both personally and professionally by creating a barrier between two people, a wall has been put up that has decided that you don’t like this person or that they are not good enough for you. This can lead to further resentment or alienation, but understanding is progressing.
I read that it’s like putting a wall around your castle and not letting anyone else in unless they meet your criteria, but this might not protect or strengthen you, it may only isolate you.
In life it is sometimes said that everyone we meet teaches us something new; by forming judgement and then potentially disengaging we may miss out on new information or a missed opportunity that would only occur within an individuals differences with someone else.
How judgement impacts mental health
Subconsciously being judgmental can take a toll on our own mental health. If an individual is within a constant state of judging they are also within a state of judging themselves too, as we are always finding fault and not finding much satisfaction. It’s like seeing many mirrors within a distortion of reality which can lead to a long term negative reality / mindset.
Focusing on an individuals flaws and differences that may not be liked by yourself as appose to their strengths and positive qualities, can lead to a cycle of negativity leading to a mind that may become critical and pessimistic.
It is hard to recognize and understand our own judgmental tendencies to encourage them to be more positive but it is possible. We have to ask ourselves why we are judging this person negatively and to seek more positive judgements. We have to understand where they come from, but I also understand that maybe sometimes two people just don’t get on…
When we judge ourselves and others in a more positive light, we strengthen inner and outer connections both professionally and personally. Including the language we use towards others and its importance, if we find ourselves using more negative terminology then we should re-consider our own words and energy that we give out and adjust accordingly.
Having a more positive mindset
If like me you have no instant processing then this movement is hard to comprehend, it has been learnt though in many settings psychologically, socially and economically.
By challenging any current negative behaviors and replacing them with kind, compassionate and more empathetic behaviors it allows us to be authentic to our true selves and naturally the innocence of our child self – who knows no judgement.
Instead of processing I don’t like that dress, change this to that’s a unique style to that person. If you think I don’t like their features, change that to how uniquely beautiful to them and so on, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like something externally it is what is on the inside that counts <3
Within this movement you will create an open genuineness for yourself and others.
It is also understood that if an individual is currently having a difficult time in life there may be a comparison judgement between others and themselves which many cause negative effects on their behaviors, please seek professional help *
Thankyou for reading
Dan 😊