but you are.
I would often tell myself that I am not good enough. I know you maybe might have told yourself this too.
‘You are alone, nobody loves you’
‘Why when you aren’t good enough, will you keep doing what you are doing’
‘Nobody likes you’
‘Why when the world tries to squash you, why have you not been squashed’
‘you have failed’
Are the subconscious questions that would often float around my head.
Belittling me like a recurring alarm clock. Do you know that feeling?
People often feel not good enough due to a combination of past experiences, such as childhood rejection or criticism, and societal pressures that promote unrealistic standards and constant comparison to others. These feelings can stem from low self-esteem, perfectionism, and the belief that one’s worth is tied to achievements or external validation – AI summary.
Gratefully overtime I have developed my mental health; I like my time offline and I like my own company. I can spend too much time in my own space; I often do question myself on how. Several years ago, I sent myself into isolation subconsciously when I moved 100 miles away, without knowing that I was healing my physiology whilst understanding the psychological side to my mental health. We all have mental health; it’s just different –> individuality article.
But what I perceived / experienced from my external life often spilled into my personal life, sometimes without me knowing. Offering my time and energy into the cause of suicide prevention. I did this so energetically in 2025 that it absolutely exhausted me to the point I felt ‘not good enough’ again. It is hard to balance a volunteering life as well as my own things, my own things falter. As you know in many workplaces there is not much gratitude from delivering work, but the gratitude is eventually the pay cheque. If you remove the pay cheque, then you are left with relying on the gratitude. The volunteering always outweighs the gratitude, although we are not here for this discussion (whine) on that, but it is ultimately what has brought me here.
The almost relapse to not feeling good enough and then having to re-trace my steps of worth.
It started yesterday, when I was on Tik Tok and this guy shouted at me, he told me that I was never the villain. It was something that I never knew I needed to hear. After Bryan’s death, my boyfriend at the time was with someone else not long after. I hit c-PTSD within weeks because of the trauma on trauma –> it comes in threes. My behaviours went from being settled to being erratic and impulsive within what felt like moments, instead of being supported after the death, I was painted like a villain, and I had to just move on…
To try and distract my mind from that emotional moment, I ended up on a bit of a doom scroll through my archived Instagram posts to unarchive a couple, then I ended up looking at some of the pictures from 2016 when I used to hate myself and feel unlovable, but I was beautiful and younger!
Of course, I ended up emotionally worse that what I started, because where the hell has ten years gone. Why has it flown so fast and what have I gained out of it. Why did I hate myself so much back then when I was so beautiful. I felt heart-broken for my past self.
There were two ways I could have gone with this.
- Dwelled on the past and let my past self-dictate enhancing feelings of not feeling good enough.
- Been grateful for the reminder, looking at how far I have come.
I opted for the second option along with a few deep breaths, knowing I am not spending the next decade healing. The thing is, I don’t feel like I have come so far, ten years is a long time. But the reality is that I have come a long way in so many ways, especially within my personal progression, in comparison to others maybe I am a little behind on the ‘norm’ stuff but that is their journey and not mine.
You also have to ask yourself whether anyone has directly said you are not good enough or is it a perception? Is it a cause of their behaviours which makes you feel neglected? Because then it could just be them and not you.
Societal pressures make it easy for us to judge ourselves, it can also make us have high expectations of ourselves. It is okay if you do not meet your personal targets, just never stop giving up on them.
If someone has directly made you feel bad you have no commitment to stay around these people. The people you have around you are most primitive to a good mental health.
Going forward, I must remember my healing path and the depths I had to go to in order to survive.
And you must also remember your healing path and what you have overcome.
Life gives us experiences, some of these experiences are awful, but some are also beautiful too, we must be grateful for both. Not everyone goes through what you go through, and you should be immensely proud of yourself for getting through that.
Please seek support if you need help with your mental health.
We can also choose our future paths, we chose these from motivation, from desire, or because it’s what has been delivered to us. Or our paths can choose us.
My path chose me, and because of that I actually can’t stop with the prevention of suicide. I have to put aside my personal feelings and carry on with moving forward. Regardless of how I feel or how I have been made to feel.
I just make a few adjustments along the way to ensure sustainability.
I am good enough, and so are you. It is a common feeling to feel of a lower affluence sometimes, but it doesn’t mean that it is true.
If you do feel not good enough, things to do –
Removing thoughts that align with comparison, judgement or resentment and directing feelings onto your own physiology will enable you to re-align yourself with what feels best for you.
Counting your blessings, remembering your glimmers.
Remember / appreciate your journey and how far you have come.
Remember everyone is different and has different experiences.
And please don’t ever care about what others think, it is about how you feel. Understanding resilience will help you to progress independently <3 –> Resilience write up.
Thankyou for reading,
All my love. D x
Please note that all information is from lived experiences and psychological / suicidology points of view. Search engines such as AI are used for brief understandings.